All posts by Enslain Magazine

The Enslain editorial team
suicidal, like us after listening to these songs

Throw-up Sunday – 30 Spotify Songs Spewed upon

Other medias do Throwback Thursdays.  But Enslain… well, we do Throw-up Sundays.  Classy, I know.

After a weekend of heavy metal [and heavy boozing], our corpses have little strength for much more than being slothful Sunday slugs, but we’ve conceived of a way to come together to the Enslain waterbed office as a grumpy group of gremlins – which I will call the “Spew Crew” – and hate on songs we’ve (mostly) never heard before.  Sorta like an acrimonious levyraati.

The first time was by accident.  Having no energy to even choose albums to listen to, I played my personalized Spotify Discover Weekly playlist, only to learn that most of it was detestable, derivative dog droppings [or perhaps everything just kinda sounds that way when you have a moody, melancholy hangover].  Normally, I only like to publish content that promotes music that’s worth being heard, but… this idea was just too fun!  And since the comments and the reviewers are anonymous, we’re safe to say whatever we damned well please.  You’re welcome.  Sorry.

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“Everything’s horrible anyway, so let’s go to a squat and listen to powerviolence!”

A week ago, a handful of us Enslainers had a planning session [otherwise known as “we drank beer”] at Enslain Headquarters, and we noticed that a curious and relevant musical affair was being held early that Wednesday evening; curious because it was apparently occurring at a “squat” somewhere nearby, and relevant because several friends (crust punk pummellers Pelkotila from Helsinki, and powerviolence à la Tallinn-based Sociasylum) would be performing at the event.  We collectively decided that it sounded just peculiar enough to warrant our interests… and it was BYOB, so it wasn’t much different than what we were doing prior!

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Dissecting 2013

2013 was quite the year for Enslain Magazine, taking us on a plethora of awesome adventures from the frosty mountains of Dovre to the dingy alleys of Bucharest and the sunny shores of Zadar.  Most importantly, it saw the release of a new print issue, bearing the number 11.  A lot of thought was put into making the magazine thematic yet varied, colorful yet coherent – summing up our most significant experiences and passions from the last couple of years in all things metal.  We’d like to think it turned out pretty nice.

While Ossi took a more prominent role than before in the forging of the new issue, ascending to a position one might call “co-editor,” we had the honor and delight to take in some new blood as well.  With the launch of the Enslain blog, Kari joined the fold, mainly providing interrogations with groups he deems best in cruelties of death and doom, and more recently, Tommi stepped in as a record review contributor.  Welcome to Hell, dudes, let’s make 2014 the best one so far.  Anyway, as clichés dictate, here’s our wrap-up of last year, with each of us listing the five top dogs in releases, as well as the most decimating live experience endured [except Tommi, who thought that pretty much all gigs he saw last year sucked balls]. Continue reading

The Gathering of Romaniac Forces: November to Dismember 2013

November to DismemberFusion Arena, Bucharest, Romania – November 29–30, 2013

‘Twas thirteen Novembers ago the last time I’d attended an event by the cognomination of November to Dismember, and I remember it well.  Back then, the name represented two of the many festival failures orchestrated by the notoriously distrusted hands of Jack Koshick – taking place in San Antonio in ‘99 and the following year just outside of L.A. and offering a spattering of European first-timers who ultimately ended up not getting paid.

Although entirely unrelated, the name has now been resurrected by an upstart underground fest in Bucharest which to some – us included – may have presented a similar air of dubiousness to contend with.  The organizers’ relative greenness in arranging a fest, the line-up boasting bigshots like Hail of Bullets and Impaled Nazarene along with a host of unfamiliar names from around the globe, and the iffy location (if you trust hearsay about Romania) weren’t exactly signposts for reliability.

It took a bit longer than usual to get this wrap-up written… I actually had the whole report drafted before ever even stepping foot off the plane at Henri Coandǎ International Airport, exposing how clusterfucked this first-time happening was, and how unoriginal and uninspired the line-up was.  It then expressed my apologies for not having any photos to show for it, thanks to the theft of my camera when we got mugged by a slipshod gang of local thugs after being extorted for cash in one of the city’s many dark taxis, and driven to an innercity circle of dilapidation awaiting our capitulation.

But then, none of that actually happened. [Hah, yeah, ace journalism, Lady Enslain; proliferating age-old stereotypes instead of doing your job…] Instead, the trip had been among the best we’d attended all year, forcing me to crumple up the unsubstantiated writings that I never actually wrote, and begin anew – and attempt to do justice to this exemplary festival achievement and fantastic weekend.

~ Story: Lady Enslain.  Live reviews: Ossi. Continue reading

The best Rytmihäiriö interview you’ve never read. Näin on marjat.

This is the less cut and more chaotic version of the interview that appears in issue #11, conducted by Lady Enslain and Ossi face-to-face with the entire surma squad on April 26th, 2013 Anno Gambina. To be enjoyed with a tall bottle of you-should-know-what. Or two.

Nosturi, May 17th, 2013 Continue reading